So, you think you’re a “hardcore” video gamer, or perhaps you know someone who is? The following humorous list has 10 signs, which should let you know if you (or your friends) need a break from all that excessive playing!
(10). When your electricity bill has more numerical digits than your all time high score.
All that game playing is really running up a high electricity bill, which is starting to rival your best high-score in your favorite title. And we are talking in excess of four digits here! Time to cut back, or risk getting the power cut off!
(9). When you take a break from gaming at home by gaming at work.
After all, who really needs a T3 Computer Server for serious work-related duties, anyway? Fire it up for some gaming goodness! That powerful sucker’s high-speed connection makes your rig at home look like an outdated Tandy computer model from the 1980’s.
Here’s a free gaming tip: avoid getting caught by your boss at work by playing the game level by level, not all the way through. Sure, it may take a while get to your desired level, but at least you won’t get caught not working.
(8). When you take a break from gaming at work by gaming on your way to work.
Perhaps playing games at work was too risky an idea. Perhaps its better you fire up your Nintendo DS, Sony PSP, or your mobile phone, and rock some hot titles on your way to work. Yeah: because now you’ll never be late for another meeting, not when you are distracted by all that portable entertainment. And they said gaming was bad for you!
(7). The PSWii60 (huh?)!
The newest video game consoles on the block are the PlayStation 3, Nintendo Wii, & the Xbox 360. But, you’re so “hardcore” that having just one system at a time simply isn’t enough. So, you spend the next three month’s rent money to spring for all three systems at once! To top it all off, you invent a cool new way to brag about having all of them collectively: PSWii60! Clever!
(6). When you have more “friends” in the online virtual world, than in the “real world.”
You have, like, over a thousand friends! You must be, like, really popular & stuff! Like, wow! Oh, wait: these are “online friends,” none of whom you have ever met in real life.
Okay; what about your “real friends,” if you have any, that is? Alas, the rules are almost the same here; chatting online during a gaming session, has replaced face-to-face interaction with you friends. Why tell them anything in person, which will take 5 minutes at the most, when you can just wait to tell them online, during an all night “Halo 2” frag-fest?
(5). When you start think that “Norrath” is a real place.
Maybe at one point or another, you and your buddies began to speculate about where “Middle Earth” was really located. But “Lord of the Rings” is so 5 years ago, so it’s time to start debating on the new current hot topic among gaming geeks: the exact location of the legendary “Norrath” itself!
No; it’s simply not enough that you visit the darn place 23 hours a day, everyday, whenever you play “World of WarCraft.” Besides, “Norrath” sounds like it would be a cooler place to visit in real life, than “Middle Earth,” anyway.
(4). When you suddenly realize there’s a reason you’ll never finish playing “Ever Quest.”
If you are still playing “Ever Quest,” and wonder why you haven’t finished yet, let me help shed some light on this matter for you. The game is called “Ever Quest” for a reason. As in you’re on this mystical, magical, adventure quest, which pretty much lasts, erhm, forever, and ever. As in: “no end in sight.”
P.S: if you still went ahead & bought “Ever Quest 2,” even before “completing” the first part, then you really missed the boat on this one altogether.
(3). When you get married to a real-life person you met in you favorite MMORPG…..and the actual wedding ceremony takes place within the game. No, really.
You met Mister or Miss Right! You both hit it right of the bat! You slay monsters as team! You’re both into the same things! You both laugh at the same jokes! You both laugh at each others bad jokes! You both roam around the quite country side, exploring ancient ruins together. You both go on a few pleasant picnics together! You both fall in love and decide to get married for real! Congratulations!
Erhm, the only catch is; you two have only ever done any of these things while playing in the same MMORPG……as virtual avatars…..without ever having met each other in real life. Well, maybe you’ll both decide to meet face to face, once your current character finally hits Level 60, or something. You have to prioritize what’s most important, after all.
(2). When you know what the heck an “MMORPG” is to begin with.
You boastfully rattle off, to anyone who will listen to you that the letters “MMORPG” stand for “Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game.”
But it doesn’t stop there, oh no, no, no. You also know the following initials by heart:
MMORTS: Massively Multiplayer Online Real-Time Strategy.
MMORPAA: Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Action-Adventure.
MMORPFPS: Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing First Person-perspective Shooter.
Okay, alright: now you’re just showing off your uber-nerd knowledge of excessively abbreviated gaming terms. You really need to go out and learn some actual useful abbreviations, like “PGOAGADSL” (Please Go Out, And Get A Decent Social Life).
(1). One word; “Cosplay.”
When you aren’t feverishly playing video games, you spend time, effort, & tons of money, to dress up as your favorite Video Game Character, before hitting every Nerd Convention, from Coast to Coast, in an effort to show off to the whole world, how cool & authentic your own “Costume Play” (CosPlay) is. Now, you no longer get to just play as the Super Ninja in your favorite Video Game; you can now BECOME the Super Ninja, in the flesh! Short of holding up a written sign, this is pretty much the most effective way to cry out for help.
So, in conclusion, a bit of advice: put down the controller; push yourself away from your gaming console, take a deep breath, and go outside. Get some fresh air, meet new people, and look up at the sun (well, not directly at it). And don’t worry: you require no complex button presses to enjoy these experiences.